What happens when you mess with Gandalfs staff
by Trainee Hero
Summary: Merry and Pippin do crazy stuff and get sucked into our world. Ya know, the usual.
1. Chapter 1

Lord of the Rings belongs to the wonderful J.R.R. Tolkien as well as any recognisable characters in this story. Fee, Roxie and Fee's family are my characters, though they bear some similarities to some good friends of mine.

This story is dedicated to Thorney, who is just all kind of shiny.

**This is what happens when you muck about with Gandalfs staff!**

Way, way back in the dim and distant past(around last Wednesday), there were two girls called Fee and Roxie. They were having a sleepover at Fee's house because it was her birthday and were currently sitting on the floor of Fee's room, listening to Green Day, eating fizzy Haribo and planning what to do that night.

"Okay,"said Fee, "First we eat, then we listen to music, then we watch all three Lord of the Rings extended versions back to back, and then it will be morning. Wadda ya think?"

"When do we sleep?" said Roxie.

"Oh yeah..."

But before Fee and Roxie could decide when they should get some snooze, there was a bang, a flash, two thuds and two rather muffled 'ow's. Fee and Roxie jumped up and pressed back against the wall in shock. They were about to comment on the situation when...

"FEE! No mosh pits in your room!" yelled Fee's mum.

Now of course Fee and Roxie hadn't formed a two girl mosh pit. That would have been ridiculous. Instead, two hobbits had materialised a few feet in the air and then fallen face first onto the carpet covered, yet still rather hard, floor.

The two shocked little people looked up at the two even more shocked slightly bigger people who were still pressed against the wall. The hobbit one the left spoke first.

"Have you got anything to eat? I'm hungry." The hobbit on the right smacked the back of the first hobbits head. "Well I am." said the first hobbit, rubbing his scalp.

Roxie held out the pack of fizzy Haribo and the first, and slightly smaller hobbit took out a cola bottle. He sniffed it experimentally and then popped it in his mouth. He then proceeded to choke.

The slightly bigger hobbit started to thump his companion on the back, but stopped in mid swing when the CD player started up with 'American Idiot'. Unfortunately his ear was right next to the speakers just as the drums kicked in, so he got a splitting headache.

"Pippin!"he yelled. "There's tiny musicians stuck in this box!"

The smaller hobbit promptly stopped choking and turned to Fee and Roxie. "Why've you got tiny musicians trapped in a box?" His eyes widened so that he looked like a little beagle puppy who has just spotted a steak. "Are you wizards?" he asked, grinning.

"There aren't any musicians in there." said Fee, who had recovered her senses first. "It's just a recording."

"Well, if they aren't trapped in there, how come they're swearing?"

"They just do. And we are not wizards, we're just..." said Fee, right before she was interrupted by an,

"IT'S MERRY AND PIPPIN!!!" from Roxie. This yell didn't bother Fee's family, as it was not the first time Roxie had randomly yelled about Merry and Pippin.

Please leave a review. (Imagine David Tennants puppy dog eyes.)


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two.**

The disclaimer still applies. (Unfortunately.) And as Thorney reminded me, she is all the_ best _kinds of shiny.

Chapter Two.

Merry and Pippin stared at the two girls. You could practically see the question marks forming in their brains.

"How do you know our names?" asked Merry, looking at them sternly.(think of him looking at Theoden saying he wants to fight)

Fee and Roxie quickly decided they should tell them. You do not mess with a hobbit when he looks at you like that.

"Well...you see...There's stories about you. You're famous. Or you're going to be. Or already are."said Roxie. "Um, what happened before you came here?"

"Oh, yeah. That reminds me." said Merry, shooting Pippin the evil eye.(NOT _THAT_ ONE!) "This is what happens when you muck about with Gandalfs staff!!" he yelled and smacked Pippin upside the head.

Pippin looked at him crossly and rubbed his ear. "We were at the back of the Green Dragon. Mr Bilbo and Gandalf were having a birthday drink inside before the party started. Gandalf left his staff down and I just picked it up. I only waved it a bit!" he added defensively.

Fee and Roxie looked at each other. "Would you excuse us for a moment?" said Fee sweetly as she tugged on Roxie's arm. They stepped outside the room and Fee closed the door.

"How the zarking photon are we going to hide two not-very-fictional-any-more hobbits from my parents!?"

"Whoah, calm down."said Roxie. "We could just be hallucinating."

"Roxie, think about that. What are the odds that you and I would be having the exact same hallucination at the exact same time."

"Yeah, I guess you're right."

"Besides, if we were hallucinating, Frodo and Sam would have shown up too." Fee added.

"Well, we definitely haven't gone crazy. We're crazy already." said Roxie, making Fee grin.

"So there are actually two not-very-fictional-any-more hobbits sitting in my bedroom?"

"I'm afraid so."said Roxie. "Don't worry about hiding them. Hobbits are good at hiding."

"Yeah, I remember. Which raises another question. How the crud are we going to FEED them?!" exclaimed Fee.

"The Pizzaria is gonna _love_ us after tonight." said Roxie.


	3. Chapter 3

Fee put down the hall phone and turned back to Roxy. "Three extra large, stuffed crust, deep dish pizzas with all the trimmings coming up. Now we just have to figure out what we're going to eat."

Roxy shrugged. "What don't hobbits eat?"

Fee thought for a moment. "Poisonous things. Never mind about that, we'd better get back to my room before they do anything dangerous."

_Meanwhile, back in Fees Room…_

"Hey, Merry!"

"What Pippin?"

"What do you think these little white things in the walls are?" asked Pippin, pointing to an electrical socket.

"I dunno," replied Merry. He went over and stood beside his cousin, helping the smaller hobbit stare at the strange thing.

"What are those little holes for? Do you think it plays music too?" said Pippin excitedly.

"Maybe." Merry reached down and flipped the little switch at the side of the white thing. There was a sharp *click*, then nothing.

"Aw, it's broken!" sulked Pippin.

"Let me take a look at it," said Merry. He knelt down, gave the thing a hard look, then reached out his finger to poke one of the little holes…

Fortunately for all those concerned, Fee and Roxy came back at that precise moment. "Pizzas are on the way," said Fee. "Do you want anything to drink while we wait?"

"Do you have any ale?" asked Merry.

Fee and Roxy, being teenagers, didn't want to admit that they weren't old enough to have anything alcoholic. Fees dad probably had some beer, but he'd probably catch them trying to take some.

"No, we're fresh out. We'll find you something else." said Roxy, doing some quick damage control.

"Please, for the sake of my sanity, don't give them any Red Bull!" whispered Fee frantically.


End file.
